That Which Shall Not Be Named
by neptunia24
Summary: Jacob and Bella clear the air. Takes place during second half of "Breaking Dawn."


She's laughing, and I can't help but laugh with her. The fawn that she found by the creek is nudging her, and I bite back a joke about playing with food. Hopefully, the next animal she comes across won't be Bambi and befriend her. The girl's got to learn the importance of swiftly approaching her prey before it has a chance of getting away and alerting its friends to trouble.

But she's giggling again, and I just sigh. She'll get it eventually.

Jacob's standing next to me half-heartedly encouraging Renesmee to choke out Bambi. I turn my head toward him and roll my eyes.

"Some teacher you are."

"She'll get the next one," he says with a wink at Renesmee. She's not looking at him though. Bambi's taken things to the next level: licking.

I keep my eyes on Jacob. There was a time he would have been the one staring at me. Things really are so different between us now.

He finally looks down at me after a minute. The old awe he would have for me, the look of devotion and doubt, lust and loss, isn't there anymore. What is this new look?

"Bella, what are you staring at?" He shoos a mosquito from my shoulder. You're wasting your time with me, bloodsucker.

"I remember it all. Memories were supposed to fade. Feelings I felt as a human shouldn't affect me now." I'm still looking at him. I want him to ask me what memories, what feelings. He obliges.

"You remember us?" More of an answer to the unspoken question, whispered in the space between us. I think I can almost see the words in swirls, a sort of smoke from his breath. Crazy vampire's eyes are making me see new dimensions.

I don't respond. I give him a moment to reflect. He has something big to say; I can hear it in his heartbeat.

"Bella, did you really think you would stop loving me after you became a vampire? That it would be so easy?" He's not angry; he's bemused, still the cocky too old teenager.

I still don't answer. There's more that I want to hear from him.

"So, you're married, had a child. I imprinted on said child, and now we're one big, happy family. It's all so convenient that it's impossible to argue against the existence of fate anymore." He's not too happy about that. He looks at Renesmee again. She's simply sitting there with Bambi now, staring at their moonlit reflections in the creek. It looks like the Cullen household's getting a pet.

I'm in his sights again. There's the old awe. So I was wrong.

"You know, you and Edward, that's pretty epic. After almost losing you, I'm mature enough now not to sneer at what you have with him. But, honey, you and me .. we're legendary."

I quirk an eyebrow. I don't think I ever did that as a human. It must be another vampire power: the ability to express incredulity.

Jacob's not talking anymore. I take that pause as an opportunity to evaluate him. Well, more like evaluating us. Our situation. Our relationship.

He's more than sort of beautiful. He hit the milestone of extraordinary pretty much when he saved me from the waves after my foolish attempt at cliff diving.

He saved me then and continued to try to save me until my heart stopped beating; when, in a way, it was the only way to save me ... for one last time. Eat your heart out, Superman.

I knew what he was trying to say, but I wanted to hear it from him. Being the married woman I was, I just couldn't be the one who said it. I wouldn't deny it though. What would be the point of denying what was simply truth.

"What we could have been, what won't ever be fully realized, soul mates in a sane world ... That's tragic, Bella. That's the stuff of legends, and I mourn what we've lost."

And there it was, the new state of our relationship. We're still friends. We would always be that, because that was all this crazy world would allow for us.

Jacob will always be near me, helping me with Renesmee and most likely marrying her when she's ready. They'll be happy, and I'll be happy for them. I'll always have Edward by my side, and I'll be happy for me, too.

He's right in front of me, breathing words of such honesty that they sparkle in the air. What if we ran away right now? Go up to Canada and make new lives for ourselves. Jacob could easily find work at a car repair shop somewhere; I could take some college courses. We'd live in a tiny apartment with a living room for a bedroom. I could see it, a warped version of how we would have been if there were no Edward, no vampires, no forever.

There are no new possibilities for us now. That's what he was saying. That's our tragedy. We would stay right where we were standing now. We would take Renesmee back to the Cullens' house when she was finally tired of hunting, I would go find Edward, and Jacob would go home to La Push only to return the next day to see Renesmee. But maybe he would be coming back to see me, too. And maybe I would be waiting for him to arrive.

"You want to give me a hand with a few more hunting lessons somewhere else tomorrow?" I ask shyly, like he would actually say no.

"Of course," Jacob says with an easy smile. "Where'd you like to go?"


End file.
